The Fifth Element
by wereleopard
Summary: Jack Harkness, a taxi driver gets dragged back into his ex-military life style when a perfect stranger lands in his cab going by the name of Ianto.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Blast From The Past

Title: The Fifth Element Torchwood style

Author: Wereleopard

Rating: will be nc-17

Pairing: Jack/Ianto,

Spoilers: Ummm all of Torchwood cause you need to know the characters and the film The Fifth Element

Summary: Jack Harkness, a taxi driver gets dragged back into his ex-military life style when a perfect stranger lands in his cab going by the name of Ianto.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Torchwood, or The Fifth Element. I wish.

Chapter One

A young boy and his mule zigzag along the bottom of sun scorched dunes until they finally make it to the temple. A few tents dwarfed by a huge temple door jutting out of the sand. The camp is deserted except for kids buy the temple entrance holding large mirrors, reflecting light into the temple.

The young boy makes his way uneasily down a pillared corridor that opened up into a vast room where an old scientist stands on a small wooden ladder in front of the wall across the room. A young man is beside him he has a large sketchpad in his hands. Behind him Gray holds the last mirror which shines light into the expansive room.

"When the three planets are in eclipse." Dr Copley's fingers trace across the wall which is covered with symbols and strange hieroglyphics as he deciphers it. "The black hole like a door is open, evil comes sowing terror and chaos. See? The Ultimate Evil, Andy. The Ultimate Evil, make sure you get the snake."

Dr Copley points emphatically to the snake, the symbol of Evil coming through the door between the three planets in eclipse. Andy's hand sketches the snake quickly.

"And when is this door opening snake act supposed to occur?" Andy asks.

Copley's fingers touch the signs. "Of this is the five, and this is the thousand." He calculates it in his mind. "Every five thousand years."

"So I have some time." Andy mutters as he reaches for the pad.

Jonah standing at the entrance to the chamber with the water bag, entranced by the sight in front of him. A skeletal hand falls on his shoulder. Jonah turns to an ancient priest in a rough milled black Cannock.

Beth smiles at him. "I will take it to them my son." Startled but obedient, Jonah gives the water bag to the priest. "Go with God, be save from evil."

The priest makes the sign of the Cross on the boy's forehead, dismissing him. As soon as Jonah is gone, the priest turns worried eyes to Dr Copley.

Dr Copley is still translating as Andy is sketching.

"Then arrange the elements of life against the terror." His fingers carry on moving. "Water, fire, earth, air four elements around the fifth." His fingers fall on the one element that has a human shape, surrounded by all the others.

The priest opens the water and begins to pour a vial of powder into the skin.

Gray is falling asleep and as he does the mirror falls, the light falls.

"Gray! Light!" Dr Copley calls out.

The boy struggles to stay awake; the mirror comes up catching the light once again.

"Lord forgive me, they already know too much." Beth whispers.

"In which all the history of the universe resides. All the strength, all the hope, protect us from evil." Dr Copley mutters.

"Amen." Beth says aloud.

Dr Copley turns to the priest who is pouring water into a tin cup from the skin.

"Beth, it is the most extraordinary thin, the greatest find in history. Can you imagine the implications?"

"Only too well, here you must be parched." Beth places a fake smile on her face.

She hands the cup to Dr Copley, he takes it, raises it to his lips and then stops. "I mean look, it is like a battle plan." Beth breathes deeply trying to not get annoyed or to force the man to drink the water. "Here the Good. Here the Evil." He points to the wall and then to the five elements. "A weapon against evil. Amazing! I am going to be famous."

Beth once again tries to get him to drink. "Then let us toast to your fame! Drink"

"To fame. Salud." Dr Copley once again lifts the tin cup up and looks into it. "We cannot toast with water. Andy! In my sack, the Grappa."

Beth watches disconsolate as Dr Copley tosses away his water, sighing to herself quietly as Andy runs down the tunnel to get the drink.

A muffled sound grows steadily louder. Outside, a monstrous shadow disturbs the kid's game and gradually darkens the temple entrance. Andy is looking for the grappa in the doctor's bag. A sound catches his attention; slowly he leans out of the tunnel and sees part of the spaceship. Andy is frozen to the spot.

Dr Copley keeps reading over the inscription. "This perfect person, this perfect being."

In the tunnel Andy now manages to move and presses himself against the wall, in the shadows, terrified, but sketching away as large shadowed figures lumber past him.

The older man still standing reading the wall. "Divine light, hmmmm" At that moment, the reflection from Gray's mirror drops again. The light fails. "Gray light!" The room is flooded with light all of a sudden. "Better, this is the most unbelievable thing I have ever seen."

He turns around and is lifted up and carried off to the side by the aliens. The Kommander stops in front of Beth who is on her knees facing the ground.

"Master, he was about to discover everything but I had the situation under control." Beth explained still on her knees.

The two Dogon guards hold the doctor three feet off the ground.

Dr Copley struggles his voice filled with panic. "Who are you? Are you Germans?" The Dogon shakes its head.

Andy struggles forward, a machine pistol in his hand.

The Kommander holds out his hand to the priest.

"What did I do wrong?" Beth asks as she jumps to her feet.

The Kommander looks at her. "You and the ones before you have done your work well, but we have to recover the elements. They are no longer safe here on Earth

"But what happens when evil returns." Beth whispered.

"In three hundred years when evil reappears so shall we."

It walks over to the wall and holds up one of its hands which is covered in a metal glove, which on the end of one finger is an intricate key which the Kommander slides into a gap that opens the wall.

"Amazing." Dr Copley exclaims.

The Kommander turns and crooks a finger. One of the Dogon waves his hand and presses something into the doctor's back, the man falls to the ground dead.

The Dogon steps into a vast room. The ceiling is very high and pyramid-shaped. In each corner of the room, four vessels containing the four elements. In the middle, an opaque sarcophagus rests on an altar.

"Take them." The Kommander ordered and watched as the Dogon guards moved the elements back to their ship.

Andy staggers through, the gun still in his hand, eyes widening as he sees the doctor dead on the ground.

"Stop." Andy shouts, he trips and the gun goes off.

"NO!" Beth screams as the doors start to close on the Kommander. "You have to hurry there isn't much time."

"Time is of no importance, only life. Pass on just as it was passed onto you." The Kommander said his last words as the wall closed and only a glove with the key on the end poked out.

Beth takes the key. " I will do as you say." She says shouting up to the sky.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

XXXXX

Disclaimer in chapter one

N/B I have to put the Torchwood characters where they will be in most of the story so please forgive me if you read this and go WTF

Chapter Two

300 Years later

"Don't you have anything? Not even a temperature." The General says standing on the bridge of his warship.

The Captain turns to him. "The thermo-analysers have jammed. One of them reads over a million degrees, the others at minus 5000. I've never seen anything like it."

A technician looks up from his monitor. "It's taking shape."

XXXXX

In the middle of the shadows, a door to a nightmare has just opened. Evil is back. A round moving mass, continually changing colour.

XXXXX

"What the hell can it be?" The Captain asks his voice full of awe.

"Hook-up with the president in one minute General." The Technician tells the elder military man.

"Send out a probe." The General orders.

XXXXX

A few people sit on chairs waiting to find out what is going on, a young woman with long dark hair sits there, she jumps as a hand is placed on her shoulder as soon as she turns to see who it was she jumps to her feet.

"I saved this seat for you Mother Superior." Gwen moved away quickly.

"Thank you Gwen." Toshiko Sato replied she was the youngest member of their order to ever reach the status of Mother Superior because of her intellect and kindness to others.

Gwen moves silently behind, rubbing her hands together waiting to see what was going to happen, she knew what it was. In fact there were only two people in this room that did and she hoped that the President would listen to Mother Superior.

An aide leans towards the President and whispers in his ear. "On air in 30 seconds."

The President turns and nods to her.

"General are you there?" The President says through the comm.

"Yes Mr President." The General's voice echoes around them.

"I have to address the Supreme Council in 10 minutes. Just the facts, General."

"There are no results from the chemical and molecular analysis as of yet, all the calibres are overshot. We're holing a thermo nucleatic imaging…"

"What you are saying is you don't know what it is." The President interrupts the other man.

The comm crackles as as the General speaks. "Not yet sir. It just keeps getting bigger."

"Recommendations." The President's voice booms in the silence of the room.

"My philosophy Mr President is shoot first ask questions later. I don't like uninvited guests."

The President looks at his military advisors as they nod in agreement. "All right then General."

Toshiko knew it was time to stand up, she felt sick to the stomach, this kind of thing was very hard for her to do as she was very quiet and shy. "Mr President."

"Yes." The President looked at her.

"Mother Superior Toshiko Sato, expect in astral phenomenon." A computer voice chimed.

"I have a different theory to offer you sir." Her voice was soft but carried confidence in what she was saying.

"You have 40 seconds."

"Imagine for a moment that this, thing is not anything that can be identified because it prefers not to be, wherever there is life it brings death, because it is evil…absolute evil."

"One more reason to shoot first." The President looks her straight in the eye as she walks towards him.

Toshiko sighed. "Evil begets evil, Mr President. Shooting would only make it stronger."

XXXXX

"The probe will attain its objective in five seconds" The technician's eyes remain on the monitor in front of him watching as the small probe seems to be engulfed in volcanic fire of the sphere.

XXXXX

"Your theory is interesting Father but I don't think we have time to go into it right now!" The President smiles at the petite woman.

Toshiko watched him for a moment longer. "Time is of no importance, Mr President. Only life is important."

The President tries to keep his voice from sounding annoyed knowing that she was only trying to help them. "That's exactly what we are going to try and do: Protect the lives of some 200 billion of my fellow citizens! General?"

XXXXX

"Up front loading 120 ZZR missile. Marker lights on the object."

Suddenly, outside of the ship, the strange planet's activity ceases. A black crust immediately covers it.

XXXXX

A scientist presses a few more buttons confirming the new readings that they have just received. "Its structure has just solidified on the surface, as if the object felt something. It that's the case, we are undoubtedly dealing with an intelligence."

"The most terrible intelligence imaginable Mr President." Toshiko whispers.

The President hesitates.

"The ship is in combat formation. The missile is loaded, General." The Captain's voice is loud over the comm.

"Give me a minute I have a doubt." The President says in an uneasy voice his eyes remaining on Toshiko.

XXXXX

"I don't, Mr President." The General's voice was cold.

The missile explodes from the ship and penetrates its target. The explosion is swallowed like a fizzy pill in a small glass of water. Nothing happens. The mass grows larger.

"General? What's going on? Did you destroy it?" The President's voice clearly echoes around the bridge.

"I'm about to, sir."

A series missiles heads for the planet, which absorbs them all and literally doubles in size.

XXXXX

The scientist looks up briefly. "The planet's diameter has greatly increased and it's moving towards the ship."

"General? Get out of there immediately! I don't want an incident, do you hear me, General."

XXXXX

The General's voice and eyes were filled with worry. "What do we have that's bigger than 240?"

"Nothing. General." The Captain replied staring at what was coming at them.

Beads of sweat pearls the General's forehead. He opens his mouth to give an order when a gigantic flame emerges from the planet and literally swallows it whole.

"Good god!" He whispers as they are engulfed by the inferno.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Jack Harkness sat up quickly, finally managing to escape from the nightmare that had hold of him. Rubbing his eyes he turns and looks at the clock 2.00am. Clicking it the lights go on.

"To quit is my goal" The cigarette machine announces.

The phone suddenly starts to ring, the cat meows at the door.

"Hey, I'm up, all right I up." Jack moans at all the noise and finally gets to his feet heading towards the door and the phone, picking up a cigarette on the way. "Yes, yes."

"It's finger."

"Hello sweetie." He says to the cat as he opens the flap on the door.

"I love you to Captain, but you haven't called me that since basic training." Said the voice on the other end of the phone.

"I was talking to the cat." Jack muttered as he looked around for a light.

"Yeah that's right you prefer that to the real thing. So forget about the women and go find yourself a guy. You were never that picky in the first place."

"At least the cat comes back." Jack said as he picked up a picture of him and another man.

"You still pining for that psycho ex of yours. John Hart was crazy you know that. There are a million men out there." Finger told Jack.

"I don't want a million – I just want one. A perfect one." Jack sighed.

"Don't exist bud."

"Oh my god, I just found a picture of you." Jack laughs at the image of the two of them.

"How do I look?"

"Like shit." Jack grins forgetting that his friend can't see him.

"Must be an old picture. Listen, you gotta bring me the cab for the 6 month overhaul."

"It doesn't need one." Jack just wanted to hang up the phone.

"You're forgetting who sat next to you for a thousand missions. I know how you drive."

"Finger! I'm driving a cab now, not a space fighter." Jack moaned.

"How many points you got left on your license?"

"Uh…at least fifty." He lied through his teeth.

"In your dreams! See you tonight." Before anything else could be said fingers had hung up.

Jack finally manages to find a box of matches lying on top of the coffee machine. A loud advert starts to blare on the television.

"Fhloston Paradise, this is Owen Harper. Your main man and I will tell you live at 5 the winner of the Gemini contest."

Jack picks up his multi pass and walks to the door. "Don't watch it all day sweetie, it will rot your brain." He says to the cat. Jack looks into the security camera for a little bit making sure that the corridor was all clear. He had changed into his normal gear, trousers with suspenders, tan boots, a dark blue shirt, with a white t-shirt underneath and finished off with his long flowing old fashioned military coat.

Pressing a button and standing there is a man, with a flat square hit on his head which was covered in a picture of an empty corridor. Jack eyes the man carefully.

"Give me the cash." The mugger says holding up the large gun.

"You been here long." Jack forces his face to remain friendly knowing that the only danger that this guy will cause will be to himself.

"Come on give me the cash."

"Is that a Z140, alleviated titanium neuro charged assault model?" Jack asks looking at the gun. The mugger nods his head. "Hmmm good thing for me it's not loaded."

"What do you mean it's not loaded?" The mugger's hands start to shake.

"You've gotta push the little yellow button." Jack points to the button on the side of the gun.

"Ha, ha, ha." The mugger struggles to touch it.

"Take your time." Jack watches as the man struggles a little longer. "Do you want me to" he reaches towards the gun but the mugger manages to touch it. "There you go."

"Give me the cash."

A funny sound comes from the gun, it then suddenly dies. Jack pulls out his own gun and aims it at the muggers head.

"This is a very dangerous gun; you'd better let me hang onto this for you." As he talks, a cage lowers from the ceiling beside him filled with all kinds of guns. Jack just adds this to the collection. "You don't mind do you?"

"No." The mugger answers as he walks backwards.

"You sure?"

"Take it."

Jack couldn't help the grin that finally appeared on his face as he looked at the bugger baggy patterned trousers, a leather kind of waistcoat and the corridor hat.

"That's a very." Jack starts to laugh but manages to compose himself. "That's a very nice hat."

"Do you like it?" The mugger starts dancing to the side to get away from the man he had just tried to rob.

Jack walks to his garage, takes of his long coat and places it onto the seat next to him.

"Please enter your license." Says a robotic voice.

Jack places his pass into the slot.

"Welcome on board Mr Harkness."

"I had the worse goddamn nightmare." Jack mutters to himself as he starts to push buttons to start the cab up.

"You have 5 points left on your license."

"Thanks for reminding me."

"Have a nice day."

Slowly the garage doors start to rise as soon as they have opened completely Jack moves the taxi forward but has to stop suddenly as a car zooms past him, he slams his hand down on the horn and then joins the other flying cars.

XXXXX

The President sits as his des, the Mother Superior stands in front of him, Gwen is behind her and the only other people in the room are three Unit officers, in military uniform, with their red unit caps.

"We have forty-eight hours, that's the length of time it needs to adapt itself to out living conditions." Toshiko says as she places her hands on the desk before her.

"And then?" The President enquires.

"And then it will be too late. The goal of this thing is not to fight over money or power but to exterminate life, all forms of life."

The President opens and closes his mouth, then tries again to talk. "So what you're telling me Mother Superior is that there is nothing that can stop it."

"There is only one thing." Toshiko says confidently.

XXXXX

The Dogon spaceship glides through the star filled universe, carrying its precious cargo inside.

XXXXX

A large book is opened to the page of the elements, Toshiko starts to explain what it all means.

"The Dogon's have in their possession the only weapon that can defeat evil, four elements gathered around a fifth. The Supreme Being, an ultimate warrior, created to protect life. Together they create what the ancients call the light of creation able to bring life to the farthest reaches of the universe but if evil stands there." She pauses.

The President looks up at her. "Then what?"

"Light turns to dark, life to death forever."

"Sir, there is a Dogon ship at the frontier requesting permission to enter our territory." A unit General's voices breaks up the silence of what could happen.

"Give them permission and send our warmest regards." The President orders but keeps eye contact with Toshiko.

"Thank you," Toshiko smiles.

XXXXX

The Dogon pilot sits and waits a voice comes over the comm.

"Permission granted." It presses some buttons and the ship moves forward through the dark sky, but just from behind it two smaller ships appear.

The Weevils come up close firing and watching the larger ship be destroyed, they managed to get away so they are not dragged into the fiery explosion.

XXXXX

Toshiko collapses into a chair. "We are lost." Her face full of fear of what the future could now bring.

XXXXX

One of the Weevil pilots clicks on his comms system. "Agnot we are connected to earth."

XXXXX

A short blue haired receptionist sits behind her desk doing her nails. The phone goes and she presses a button.

"Mr Manger's office." She replies sweetly.

"It's Agnot."

On hearing his name she puts him straight through to her boss, knowing that this was the call that he had been waiting for.

"I am so glad to hear you Agnot." Mr Manger says as he looks out of his window.

"The mission was a success you shall have what you want in a few hours."

"Good, I'll meet you at my factory."

XXXXX

The President stands, surrounded by his three Unit military advisors.

"The attack was launched by two unregistered warships." The General told the President.

"Close all borders and declare a state of general alert." The President ordered.

"Yes, sir." The officer nodded at the President and left the room.

"Try to contact the Dogon's. We owe them an explanation."

"300 years of waiting for nothing." Toshiko was lost in her own world.

"Mother Superior you should go and get some rest." The President turned and looked at her.

"No the Dogon, I am their contact they will come for me." Toshiko stands up.

"This is government business now. I will keep you informed."

Gwen reaches over Toshiko's shoulder closing and then picking up the large book.

General Munro leans towards the President. "The rescue team has reported from the crash site."

"Any survivors?"

"Only one."

XXXXX

An armour looking glove is being wheeled down a corridor on one side is Dr Martha Jones and the other is General Munro.

"That's what you call a survivor." The General looked in the glass box.

"There a few cells that are alive, that is all I need." Martha told him.

"Have you least identified it?"

"We tried but the computer went of the chart. You see normal human beings have 40 DNA memo groums, which is more than enough for any species to perpetuate. This one has 200,000 memo groums." Martha explained.

"Sounds like a freak of nature to me." The fluorescent light shone on him.

Martha grins. "I can't wait to meet her."

The two of them enter a cylindrical laboratory. There is a huge glass tube in the centre of the room with the trolley is moved towards it and the metal glove placed inside the tube

"I want to show you something General. This is a normal human DNA chain." Martha points to image on the monitor. "The compositional elements of her DNA chain are the same as ours; there are simply more of them tightly packed. It's as if she was engineered."

Munro looks at the doctor with a worried look on his face. "Is there any danger?"

Martha laughs. "We put it through the cellular hygiene detector. The cell is for lack of a better word…perfect."

Munro just stares for a moment. "Ok but Miss Perfect better be polite otherwise I turn her into cat food." He places his key card into a slot and holds his hand over a large red button, ready to use it.

Martha starts the operation rolling. Thousands of cells form in the heart of the generator, an assemblage of DNA elements. The cells then move down a tube, like fluid, and gather in an imprint of the human body. Step by step bones are reconstructed, then the nervous and muscular systems. Whole veins wrap around the muscles. An entire body being reconstructed.

"Three seconds to ultra-violet protection." A doctor calls from his station.

A shield comes over the body and hides it away from the prying eyes.

Martha turns to Munro. "This is the crucial phase, the reconstruction pigment. Cells are bombarded with slightly greasy solar atoms which forces the body cells to react, to protect themselves. That means growing skin."

Flashes off light are seen through the little glass window and around the edges. Suddenly there is silence and the shield is moved back.

It revealed a man, a perfect man, lean but muscular. His body and face was just…perfect.

Munro's hand starts to shake over the button, his mouth gaping as he stares at the Supreme Being and he understands why.

Martha moves the General's hand away. "I told you…perfect. Thermal bandages" Straps of white material come from the sides of the glass tube covering his groin area, barely.

He suddenly takes a deep gasping breath, he arches up. The bands break. The Supreme Being is alive.

Munro is hypnotised by the beauty before him. "I'd, uh, like to get a few pictures for the archives."

Martha turns and smirks at him.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

N/B Yes I know some of the speech for Ianto is not correct and this was another really visual thing which is really hard to do. So sorry.

Chapter 4

The remote-control camera approaches his face, a flash goes off. A blinding flash making the Supreme Being jump and dart into a corner. As the camera retreats, he reaches out to try and touch it. He moves slowly towards it, trying to grab it but his hands keeps hitting against the glass.

"Ouacra cocha o dayodomo binay ouacra mo cocha ferji akba ligounai makta keratapla." Tokemata tokemata! Seno santonoi-aypa! Minoi ay Cheba! Givomana seno!" He mutters.

Munro turns to Dr Jones. "What's he saying?"

Martha looks at her assistant. "Activate the phonic detector."

Munro glances at the man nervously. "Is that thing solid?"

"Unbreakable." Martha says her eyes remaining on the almost naked man behind the glass.

"Good." Munro says with a smile as he pulls his card out of the slot and advances to the tube.

"Teno akta chataman assin-omekta!" The Supreme says but suddenly becomes quiet as a man approaches him.

Munro tapes on the glass. "If you want out, you are going to have to learn to develop those communication skills." He waves his pass in front of him, still smirking.

The man inside watches the pass carefully, his hands placed on the glass he leans forwards, a deep growl comes from inside of him, his eyes dark and magnetic staring at the General. His hand pulls back smashing through the glass grapping the Generals top, gripping hold of it and pulling it towards him. The General's head smashes against the glass.

Reaching out he turns the switch and the glass tube retracts.

"General alert!" One of the assistants hits the alarm. The doors open and the security teams run in armed.

Moving away from them, the young man climbs down on the other side of the tube. Eyes flashing between all of them, memorizing and clocking them in case he needs to fight. His eyes meet Martha's, she just watches them. Suddenly, he turns runs and dives through part of the wall that is for ventilation.

"Perfect." Martha mutters the image of the good-looking man, wearing very small thermal bandages around his groin area, up to his chest and wide shoulders and down each thigh.

The police walk through the corridors the captain stops, a ladder comes down in front of him. He grips hold of it. "Two men with me, the rest of you main ventilation." He orders.

"Yes sir." Two men stay behind and follow him as he heads up the ladder, the others continue down the corridor heading towards the main ventilation.

XXXXX

Bending down, the Supreme Being runs through the pipes looking for a way out. All the circular metal tubes looking exactly the same. Moving through a hatch to another tubes he sees a grate at the end. Reaching the end he kicks it down and climbs out onto the ledge.

He takes a deep breath eyes wide with fear at the scene in front of him, the tall buildings, flying cars. He had never seen anything like it. Looking down the lanes of traffic were continuous, he couldn't see the ground at all.

"Ok sir, stay calm this is the police. There is nowhere else to go, you are going to slowly turn around and put your hands on the floor. Do you understand me?"

He bends down and looks back through the hole, seeing an armed man. With one more look he stands and casually walks away.

"He doesn't" The policeman sighed.

The Supreme Being walks around the corner, on a tiny little ledge looking around in wonder at what this world now looked like. Jumping back slightly, eyes wide as a train went past him and headed down the side of the building.

The policeman pokes his head out of the hole and looks around. "I think we're going to need a flying unit here.

A police car suddenly appears, a light flashing making him temporarily blind.

"We are processing you identification please keep your hands up and follow our instructions." They look down at the monitor as it takes a picture of the nearly naked man and running it through their database. No File flashes across the screen.

"He has no file."

The man looks around and then down, taking a deep breath he dives off.

"He dove off." The police car turns and follows.

XXXXX

Jack grips hold of the wheel tightly as something hit and crashed through the roof of his cab.

"You have just had an accident." The computer says.

"Yes I know I've just had an accident you daffy bastard. You have one more point on your license." Jack repeats with the computer.

Finally, he manages to find somewhere to stop he puts the taxi on automatic and rubs the back of his neck.

Turning around he looks at the roof and then glances to see if he can see anything or anyone in the back of his cab. "Any survivors?"

A large male hand appears, soon followed by a face. Jack swallows and stares at the gorgeous man. "Hi." He whispers. "You ok."

The man gives a huge smile that lights up his whole face. Jack feels his heart pounding louder and louder in his chest.

"Mena a loyin, a saca na tuin. Akina delutan, nou-shan. A kaspa ta duan che a mela masa taka. Leguan ela fredge lucarna sa la harmes. Suk, Suk. Do ca me ta mala pas meta lala tre quico harnose stat un duwam mal jalingo boom." He suddenly looked at Jack, expectingly.

"Boom, I understand boom." Jack muttered not understanding a word he said and not really caring.

"Bad-ah boom." The Supreme Being muttered.

"Big bad-ah boom."

"Big bad-ah big boom." His blue eyes sparkled, his face full of delight staring at the taxi driver.

"Yeah big badah boom." Jack wished that there was not the partition between them.

"Badah boom."

Slowly memorizing every detail of the stranger in his cab, his heart beating a little faster. "You're lucky, you're not dead." Jack stared at the young man.

A siren goes of behind him, Jack turns and blinks into the light that is shining into his cab.

"This is a police control." A male speaks over the PA. "Please keep your hands on the wheel. You have an unauthorised passenger in your vehicle. We are going to arrest him. Thank you for your co operation"

Jack looks into his mirror watching the blue eyes widen with fright.

"Sorry. Looks like this is your ride." Jack whispers his heart breaking, knowing nothing about this other man but feeling a connection.

"Open the door." The policeman tells the other officer with him. The door slides across with a loud bang.

"Akta." He whispers looking around for someway out.

"Better do what they say." Jack tells him.

"Akta."

"Sorry."

The Supreme Being opens and closes his mouth, eyes shining with tears. Angry at not being able to get what he means across.

Jack looks across at the other vehicle not wanting to see the other man.

"Oh.." He says as he sits down, in the back of the cab. Eyes searching of just trying to figure something out, a picture of a young child lonely and sad stares back at him "P-P-Please h-help."

"I've only got one point left on my license. I need that to get back to the garage and get the cab back up. It's a six-month overhaul. You understand."

"Can you please open the passenger door." The PA calls out.

"Pl-please h-help." Tears fall from his eyes.

Jack looks in the mirror his hands gripping the steering wheel so he doesn't reach out and pull the man into his arms. "I can't."

He runs his hand over his face wiping away the tears.

"I repeat can you please open your passenger door."

"Yeah, yeah sure. Why not." Jack flicks a button and the door next to the man in the back slides open.

The Supreme Being moves away as a policeman connects a thick cable to the taxi. Another holds a gun on him and slowly the cable brings the two vehicles closer together.

"Thank you for your co-operation."

"Help."

Jack nods politely at the policeman. "Finger's gonna kill me." He clicks of the automatic button and puts the taxi into gear, pulling the cable from the police vehicle.

"One point has been removed from your." The computer starts to say.

"Yes I know." Jack answers before pulling the leads to stop it talking.

"On you license." The voice stops.

The young man sits back taking a deep breath, smiling.

"This is so stupid." Jack says to himself, laughing.

XXXXX

Two officers sit in the car as the radio starts.

"All units pursue yellow cab, level 10"

"Unit 47. We're on the way." He switches of the microphone. "As soon as we finish lunch. I'm too old, too tired and too hungry for chasin' hot rodders and i'm definitely too thirsty."

A yellow taxi cab zooms past them, their cold drinks spilling into their laps.

XXXXX

"We got lucky if they don't chase ya after a mile, they don't chase ya." Just as Jack finishes, police car sirens blare from behind them. "Maybe it's two miles. Hang on." He turns the wheel suddenly throwing the man in the back across the seats.

The police cars follow the taxi into a dark tunnel.

"Daya deo dono Dato. Dalutan!"

"I only speak two languages: English and bad English. I'm all for conversation but maybe you could shut up for a minute." A beeping sound comes from the dashboard. Jack presses a button SCANNING JAMMED, appears across the screen. "I don't know what you did to piss these guys off, but they are really pissed off. Hold on."

Jack pulls back on the wheel, the taxi is suddenly vertical as it shoots upwards straight in front of a train, with one quick flick he is off the tracks.

The Supreme Being sits in the centre of the seat looking around afraid.

"I think we're safe for a while."

ATTACK DETECTION in red suddenly beeps on his computer. Jack flicks of his seatbelt and ducks just hoping that the man in the back is doing the same thing. He moves the wheel, the cab turns onto its side as the police keep shooting holes into the vehicle and hopefully the people in side.

As soon as they past the building and out of weapon range Jack sits up and straps himself back into his seat.

"You wanna play it soft, we'll play it soft. You wanna play it hard, let's play it hard" Jack mutters to himself. He moves the wheel once again and they are doing a head-dive through the traffic.

The Supreme Being is lying across the partition shouting at Jack. Cars honking as he goes straight through them, still on his downwards spiral.

"If we make it to the fog, we'll be all right. If we make the fog!"

The taxi finally disappears into the dense fog and hides behind a sign, seeing the flash lights of the police cars as they pass.

"We'll just wait here till things quiet down, if you don't mind?" Jack asks. There is no answer in any language. "Hey?" Jack opens the partition, unbuckles himself looks down and sees that the man isn't moving. "Shit." He climbs into the rear of the cab. Jack reaches the man's side and looks at him.

The Supreme Being's eyes open. "Priest."

"You don't need a priest, you just need a doctor."

"Toshiko … Sato."

"What?"

"Priest." With that he falls unconscious.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Title: The Fifth Element Torchwood style

Chapter Five

Jack stands at the front of a large door. It opens and standing there is a petitie woman.

"I'm looking for a priest." Jack asks while shifting the man in his arms trying to stop himself from dropping him.

"Weddings are one floor down, my son. Congratulations." Toshiko smiles at him and then shuts the door.

Jack shakes his head raises one foot and slams it against the door, it breaks the lock and swings open.

"He's not my bride, he's my fare." He mutters striding into the room. "He's looking for a priest called Toshiko Sato. Phone book says she lived here."

"Yes that's me, but I don't know who he is." Toshiko frowned at him.

"Nobody knows who he is. No file, no ID, nothing. He's got a tattoo on this arm here."

"T-ta-tattoo?" Toshiko walks across and lifts the arm with the markings on it. She steps back gasping, eyes wide. "It's…the…F-F-F..Fifth Element." With one last look she falls back, lands heavily on the ground in a dead faint.

Jack stares down at the unconscious woman on the ground and then at the man in his arms. "Oh. Finger's gonna kill me."

XXXXX

Toshiko's eyes open with a stinging to her face.

"Hey! Wake up." Jack didn't want to hit her but nothing else had woken her, so he had no other choice.

"Who are you?" Toshiko watches him warily.

"I brought the man. Remember? Blue-eyes." Toshiko gets to her feet quickly and stumbles to the sofa where The Supreme Being is lying. "She just dropped in on me and started speaking this bizarre language."

"It's not bizarre, it's the divine language, the ancient language."

"Ok." Jack interrupts her before she really starts to get on a roll, but it doesn't stop her.

"Spoken throughout the universe before time was time. She's…she's a he?"

Jack stares at the nearly naked man, smiling, eyes roaming all of the flesh that was on display. "You noticed that, huh?"

"Yes." Toshiko laughs nervously. "It's a miracle."

"It's a miracle he's not dead."

"We've not a moment to lose. Wake him up – but gently because this man is mankind's most precious possession. H-h-he is perfect. Ohh." With that Toshiko turns and runs out of the room.

Jack's eyes follow the strange woman until she disappears, his gaze once again falls onto the man.

"Perfect." He whispers.

XXXXX

Gwen is sitting sewing, ear phones stopping her from hearing anything. The door flies open and Toshiko runs past making her jump.

Gwen bends over the desk looking into the closet and watches Toshiko pulling out robes.

"Have to be dignified." She mutters to herself as she discards another one.

XXXXX

Jack slowly rubs his fingers across the smooth face.

"Hey, wake up." He whispers. When the man doesn't move he looks around the room, he is still alone. With another longing look at the handsome face, he slowly bends his head and kisses those lips that he had been wanting to touch since this perfect man fell through the roof of his cab.

The Supreme Being's eyes open wide, she grabs his gun and without Jack even realising it she places it to his head.

"You're right. I shouldn't have done that. It was wrong to kiss you."

"Seno akta gamat!"

"You're right. You're right." Jack repeated.

"Seno akta gamat."

"Thought you might remember me from the cab.remember. Ba-dah boom. Big ba-dah boom." Jack asked him, trying not to make any quick movements.

"Boom."

"Boom. Big ba-dah boom, in the cab? Here look," Jack pulls out a card from his pocket. "I drive a cab. This is me." He holds it out to the younger man. "Jack Harkness. Jack, you understand?" He watches as the man looks at him moving side to side confusion clearly written on his face. "Here take it. Go ahead. You can call me when you learn to speak English." Jack watches as the Fifth Element tries to take hold of it and couldn't stop himself from moving i side to side. "Mm-hmmm. Ah! Ah!."

The Supreme Being finally manages to snatch it away with one hand, the other still holding the gun. "Just kidding." He watches as the other man studies it. "What is your name? You? Jack." He points to himself fand then points to the other man.

"Ianto Minai Lekorarib-Laminai-Tchai Ekbat De Sebat Jones

"Good, that's. That whole thing is your name huh? Do you have a…a shorter name? Not yadayadaydaydayda-oooh. Shorter. Me Jack harkness.."

The gun starts to shake a little. "Ianto." The man finally says staring at him with large eyes.

"Ianto." Jack repeats smiling softly. "Jack. Ianto. Ianto. Jack."

A small smile appears on Ianto's face

Toshiko in a bright red robe, a tunic with the element symbols rushes back into the room followed by Gwen, who runs into the smaller woman as Toshiko had stopped suddenly.

Ianto laughs, breaths deeply relief covering his face. He continues to laugh as Toshiko raises the small golden key. Jack watches what is happening with confusion.

"Mother Superior are you sure he's the Supreme Being?" Gwen whispers.

"Absolutely sure." She whispers.

"Old friends! Ok. Good." Jack walks towards Ianto, who points the gun at him. "Yeah, you're right. Do you think you could ask him if I could have the gun back please."

"What's your name?" Toshiko asks the man who is still looking at the Supreme Being, waving and smiling.

"Jack Harkness."

Toshiko grabs hold of his arm and pulls him away towards the door. "Thank you Mr Harkness for all your help. Thank you so much, you've been so kind." Gwen rushes forward and opens the door.. "But he needs some rest because he's been on a long trip."

Ianto moves the gun still aiming as they head towards the door.

"Yes I know I was there when he landed." Before Jack realises what had happened he was out of the door. Turning around quickly. "Hey Mother Superior, he said something that I didn't understand. I didn't understand any of it, but what does Akta gamat mean?"

Toshiko thinks for a moment. "Uh, never without my permission."

"That's what I thought."

XXXXX

The bullet ridden taxi finally pulls back into Jack's garage, the smoke coming from underneath the hood as he pulls to a stop.

Sighing, he shakes his head. "I shouldn't have kissed him." He opens the door to his apartment, the cat is meowing and the phone is ringing. "Oh, no. I'm so sorry I forgot your food. How about some nice Thai food to apologise?" Jack tells the cat. "Yeah, yeah hold on." He mutters as he picks up the phone. "What?"

"Hey buddy, I'm waiting all day here." Fingers says down the phone.

"Finger."

"Where is the cab?"

"Car's running fine. Purring like a kitten."

"Fine, what fine? I know you Harkness. Fine ain't in your vocabulary. Come on, you can tell your old buddy Finger what happened. What you'd save the planet."

"Listen." Jack interrupts.

"You dinged the godamn fender again didn't you."

Jack sits down on his bed. "Finger I was on my way to see you and a big fare fell in my lap. One of these really big fares you just can't resist."

"Oh, how big?"

Jack lies back on his bed, rubs a hand up his chest smiling and finally places the hand under his head. "Six-foot…blue-eyes…great-skin…gorgeous. You know…Perfect."

"Uh-huh. I see and does this, uh, 'perfect' fare got a name?"

"Yeah, Ianto."

XXXXX

Ianto sits wrapped in a bathrobe, eating chicken and staring at a computer screen.

Gwen moves and whispers into Toshiko's ear. "What's he doing?"

"Learning out history, the last 5,000 years that he's missed. Been asleep for quite a while you know."

The computer stops on martial arts Ianto stares at the screen imitating the karate yell. Toshiko laughs softly but stops when Ianto gets up and walks past her, he empties the chicken bones into the bin.

"Mother Superior I know he's been through a lot but we don't have much time."

"Yes you're right." Toshiko agrees.

Ianto place a few drops in the centre of the plate and puts it in the 'microwave' and presses a button.

"Chick-en good" The microwave dings, he opens the door and pulls out a large cooked roast chicken laughing as he does so. "Chick-en." He mutters again as he holds the dish closely to his chest. Ianto goes back to the computer and starts to eat.

"Er, I'm really sorry to interrupt you, but the case…with the stones…where is it?"

"San agamat chay bet envolet."

"Stolen." Ianto nods, a mouth full of chicken. "Who in god's name would do such a thing?"

XXXXX

Bilis Manger walks down a metallic corridor when a young man runs up to him.

"Excuse me sir. The council is worried about the economy heating up they wondered ifit'd be possible to fire 500,000. I though maybe from one of the smaller companies, like one of the cab companies?"

"Fire one million." Bilis replies not even looking at the man.

"But 500 thousand…." Bilis finally turns to look at him. "One million. Fine, sir. Sorry to have disturbed you"

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Title: The Fifth Element Torchwood style

Author: Wereleopard

Rating: will be nc-17

Pairing: Jack/Ianto,

Spoilers: Ummm all of Torchwood cause you need to know the characters and the film The Fifth Element

Summary: Jack Harkness, a taxi driver gets dragged back into his ex-military life style when a perfect stranger lands in his cab going by the name of Ianto.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Torchwood, or The Fifth Element. I wish.

Chapter Six

Gwen rushed in holding a selection of clothing. "It's uh….it's for the supreme, uh….."

"Yes, yes." Tosh mutters as she paces taps her glasses against her mouth.

Gwen walks forwards and stumbles over, the clothes land in front of Ianto.

"Oh! Sorry. Uh…." Gwen mutters and bows.

"Danko" Ianto says watching the young woman.

"Yes there was a man with a limp, came here about a month ago asking questions about the stones. Said he was an art dealer." Tosh says to herself.

Ianto picks up a waistcoat and grins. "Dano Danko."

"What was his name? Oh, I'm so bad with names." Tosh turns and walks towards Gwen and The Supreme Being.

Ianto opens his robe and lets it fall to the ground. Tosh and Gwen turn away quickly.

"They really made him…" Gwen starts to talk.

"Perfect, I know." Tosh finishes for her.

"Toshiko, Ikset-kiba. Me imanetaba oum dalat!"

"What did she say?" Gwen asks.

"She says she knows exactly where they are."

XXXXX

Aknot stalks through the metal corridor, his feet hitting heavily on the ground echoes around them.

"My dear Aknot how about those two little planes you borrowed?" Bilis asks as he turns around to look at his visitors. "Aknot is that you? What an ugly face, it doesn't suit you. Take it off." Aknot shakes his head and the human features change back into his weevil appearance. "That's better, never be ashamed of who you are. You're warriors. Be proud. So what if the federal government scattered your people to the wind. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Your time for revenge is at hand. Voila the ZF-1."

Bilis turns and points at the large arm gun that was sitting on the table. "It's light; handle's adjustable; good for righties and lefties; breaks down into four parts; X-ray invisible; quick and discreet. A word on firepower; Titanium recharger; 3,000-round clip with bursts of 3 to 300. With the replay button, another Manager innovation, it's even easier... one shot." Bilis turns around and fires into the mannequin that had been placed behind him. ... and replay sends every following shot to the same location..." With that he fires at the Weevils who are standing in front of him. The Weevils dive and growl at him but all of the shots go back and end up hitting the mannequin again. ... and replay sends every following shot to the same location..."

"To finish the job, all the Manger oldies but goldies." As he names each one he fires it into the mannequin. "...Rocket launcher. The always efficient flame thrower... My favorite. Our famous net launcher, the arrow launcher, with exploding or poisonous gas heads – very practical. And for the grand finale, the all-new ice-cube system!" The mannequin has been blasted into a pile of ashes covered by a net, stuck with arrows, the whole mess frozen solid. He tosses the weapon into Aknot's hands. "...Four full crates, delivered right on time! What about you, my dear Aknot, did you bring me what I asked you for?"

"Yes." Aknot muttered, they all moved as a crate was put onto a table. Bilis moved forward. "Magnificent." He said as he opened it. Quickly slamming it closed. "Listen, this case is empty."

XXXXX

Ianto sits laughing.

"What do you mean, empty?" Tosh asks.

XXXXX

"Empty, as in the opposite of full. This case is supposed to be full. Anyone care to explain?"

XXXXX

Ianto talks in his own language. Tosh concentrates on what he is saying and translates to Gwen so she knew what is happening

"He says that the Guardians never really had much faith in humans. They were afraid of being attacked. The stones were given to someone they could trust who took another route. He's supposed to contact this person in a little less than twelve hours from now in a hotel. He's looking for the address!"

Ianto is staring at the computer screen. "Dot!" He mutters and points.

Gwen and Tosh walk over and look at the image.

Gwen brings up the information. "Planet Fhloston, in the Angel constellation."

"We're saved." Tosh whispers.

XXXXX

"I'm screwed."

"You asked for a case we brought you a case." Aknot told him.

"A case with four stones in it. Not one! Not two or three! But four!!! Four stones!!! What the hell am I supposed to do with an EMPTY case?!!"

The weevils start to shift, feeling the tension grow in the air. "We are warriors, not merchants."

"But you can still count! Look. It's easy. Look at my fingers." Bilis held out his hand with four fingers. "Four stones, four crates! Zero stones, Zero crates! Pack everything up we're out of her."

Aknot roars loudly. "We risked our lives. I believe a little compensation is in order." He says icily.

"So, you are a merchant, after all." Bilis turns to his men. "Leave them one crate. For the cause!"

Bilis walks out of the warehouse and turns to the man next to him. "I don't like warriors! They're too narrow-minded, no sublety. Worse, they fight for hopeless causes..for honor! Honor has killed millions of people but hasn't saved a single one." He pauses. "You know what -- do I like though, I like killer. A real dyed in the wool killer. Cold-blooded. Clean. Methodical. Thorough. A killer, when he picked up the ZF1, would've mmediately asked about the little red button on the bottom of the gun."

XXXXX

Inside the warehouse one of the Weevils notices the red button and presses it.

XXXXX

Bilis stands there smoking when behind him there is an ear-shattering explosion.

"Bring the priest." He says emotionless.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Title: The Fifth Element Torchwood style

Author: Wereleopard

Rating: will be nc-17

Pairing: Jack/Ianto,

Spoilers: Ummm all of Torchwood cause you need to know the characters and the film The Fifth Element

Summary: Jack Harkness, a taxi driver gets dragged back into his ex-military life style when a perfect stranger lands in his cab going by the name of Ianto.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Torchwood, or The Fifth Element. I wish.

Chapter Seven

Gwen sat on a chair typing at the computer. "I have got everything we need to know about Folston Paradise and the detailed blueprint of the entire hotel."

"Good work, all we need now is a way to get there?" Tosh said with a grin as she patted Gwen's shoulders.

"That won't be easy. There's a charity ball there tomorrow, it's been booked up for months. The flights are full and with all the celebrities, it'll be guarded like a fortress."

Tosh stands there thinking, her face scrunched up in concentration. A knock at the door startles her. Gwen moves to go and open it.

"No! I'll get it." Tosh gently pushes Gwen back into her seat. She opens the door and four men are standing there 3 of them were overly muscular.

"Weddings?" She asked politely.

The small man in the centre turned and looked at his companions and then back to the petite woman in the doorway.

"Not really. Mr Manger would like to talk to you."

"W-w-h-h-o-o?" Tosh stutters.

"Mr Manger." The man repeats the name more slowly as if he were talking to a child.

XXXXX

An elderly looking man walks around his desk. "Bilis Manger. It's nice to see you again Mother Superior." He then turns to Tosh.

"I remember you now. The so called art dealer."

"I'm glad that you got you memory back, Mother Superior because you are going to need it." Bilis waves his men out of the room. "Where are the stones?"

"I don't know, even if I did I wouldn't tell someone like you."

"Why, what's wrong with me?" Bilis asked with a smirk.

"I try to serve life, but you only seem to want to destroy it."

"Awwww, Mother Superior, you're so wrong. Let me explain." Bilis presses a button and the doors of his office slid shut. The secretary moves her head just so she can catch some last glimpses of what is going on. "Life, which you so nobly serve, comes from destruction and chaos. Take this empty glass; here it is peaceful, serene, boring. But if it is." Bilis knocks the glass on to the floor and it shatters. "destroyed." Little cupboards open and small machines on wheels come out whirring and buzzing, cleaning up the mess. "Look at all these little things, so busy now. Notice how each one is useful. What a lovely ballet ensues, so full of form and colour." The robots wash and dry the floor. "Now, think about all those people that created them. Technicians, engineers hundreds of people able to feed their children tonight, so those children can grow up big and strong and have little teeny tiny children of their own and so forth. Thus adding to the great chain of life."

The machines disappear a glass pops up through a trap door and is filled with water; a bowl of fruit also appears. "Water, fruit." A computer voice states.

"You see, Mother Superior, by creating a little destruction. "Bilis puts a cherry into his water. "I'm in fact encouraging life." Tosh stares at him coolly. "In reality, you and I are in the same business. Cheers." Bilis gulps back the water. The cherry gets trapped in his throat.

He starts to choke first: his fist banging on the table and then pointing to his neck. His face getting redder and redder. Randomly pressing buttons in a panic. The door locks.

Tosh slowly walks around the desk. "Where's the robot to pat you on the back? Or the engineer? Or-or the children maybe?" She watches as Bilis is still pressing buttons, cards fly out of his desk into the air, music starts up and the cupboards open and close. Tosh gets to his side, another little cupboard slides up and inside is a creature pale pink and blue with a long snout. Bilis stares at it and points to his back hoping that it could do something and knowing that it was a ridiculous thought. "See now how all your power counts for absolutely nothing. An empire of destruction comes crashing down, all because of one little cherry." Tosh hits him hard on the back and he spits out the cherry hitting the creature in the face with it.

The doors automatically unlock and the guards rush in. Bilis grabs her and pushes her towards them.

"You saved my life and in return I'll spare yours for now."

"You're a monster Bilis."

"I know." He says smiling, Bilis waves for the guards to take her away. One of his flunkies stands their. "Torture someone. The President – I don't care just bring me those stones. You have one hour."

XXXXX

The dark planet was ominous. Three warships are positioned in front of it. Communication satellites arrive from all over the place, drawn to it like a magnet.

XXXXX

President Lindberg appears even more crushed by recent events as he sits by his desk. "Why the hell is it eating up all those satellites like that?"

The head scientist turns around. "We're working on it, Mr. President. We're working on it."

A cockroach calls across the floor darting from left to right.

XXXXX

The man sits there manoeuvring the small creature with his remote control getting closer and closer to the President's table.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Title: The Fifth Element Torchwood style

Author: Wereleopard

Rating: will be nc-17

Pairing: Jack/Ianto,

Spoilers: Ummm all of Torchwood because you need to know the characters and the film The Fifth Element

Summary: Jack Harkness, a taxi driver gets dragged back into his ex-military life style when a perfect stranger lands in his cab going by the name of Ianto.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Torchwood, or The Fifth Element. I wish.

Thank you to Amazon X for beta'ing this.

Someone has put be forward for abuse because one of my stories contains 'sexual situations'. So if any of my stories disappear that is the reason why but they are on my livejournal wereleopard58

Chapter Eight

"I managed to contact the Dogon. They deplore the incident, but accept our apologies," General Monroe told the President.

"Where were the stones? Were they in the wreckage?" The President asked as he started to untie his shoes.

"The stones were not aboard the ship."

The President looked up at the General. "What do you mean?" He asked.

"The Dogon's never fully trusted the human race…" As the General began to, the small cockroach made its way onto the table, the tiny antenna spinning around. "So they gave the stones to someone they do trust. Her name is Rose. She's a diva and she's going to sing at the charity ball on Fhloston Paradise in a few hours. She has the stones with her. The Dogon's…"

XXXXX

The man slowly maneuvered the cockroach closer so he could get as much information as he can.

XXXXX

"All we have to do is send someone to get the stones."

"Excellent." The President slipped off his shoe, looking across the table, he noticed the cockroach and slammed the shoe on it.

XXXXX

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" The man screamed scrambling to get the earphones off as quickly as possible.

XXXXX

"I want this operation to be as discreet as possible. No troops, no big operation. I want your best man to go undercover," The President ordered.

General Monroe placed his hands on the desk. "I have the perfect one."

XXXXX

A piece of mail shot down the shoot. Jack turned and looked at it and then turned back to the food that he was eating and the man that had made it.

Mr. Tanizaki pointed to the mail. "You got a message!"

"Yeah," Jack muttered, taking another bite of his food.

"You're not he going to open it? Could be important!"

"Like the last two I got were important; the first from my wife telling me she was leaving. The second was from my lawyer telling me he was leaving with my boyfriend," Jack mumbled as he placed another piece of food in his mouth.

"That is bad luck, but grandfather always say 'it never rain everyday'. This is good news. Guarantee. I bet you lunch."

Jack looked at him for a moment. "Ok." He reached out and pulled the mail from the slot.

"Come on." Mr. Tanizaki waved his hands around, grabbed it from Jack, smiling as he reads. "You are fired." He paused. "Oh, I am sorry."

Jack took it from the other man, and his phone started to ring. "Well, at least I won lunch."

"Good philosophy. See good in bad. I like."

"Hello." Jack says as he answers the phone.

"Jack, sweetheart you got broken fingers you can't punch my number?"

"Hi, mom."

"17 messages, don't tell me your machine is broken again those things are good for a thousand years….."

Jack lit his cigarette and puts the phone to his chest as his mother continued to talk. "Mr. Tanizaki you should go. This is going to take a minute."

He puts the phone back to his ear as his mother still continued to talk. "…… your white pussycat, who you obviously love more than me."

"Goodbye, Mr. Harkness." Mr Tanizaki calls out. "A fortune for you." He threw a cookie over.

"Oh, Christ I'll never be a grandmother!" His mother whined.

"Bring you good luck."

"Yeah, sure," Jack muttered as Mr. Tanizaki unhooked his flying junk ship, singing. Jack rolled down the blinds.

"You have to take me on this trip," Mrs. Harkness ordered.

Jack starts to light another cigarette. "Ma what are you talking about?"

"You want to make your mother beg?"

"No, I don't want to make you beg. I just want an explanation. I just got in, I smashed my cab, lost my job and I got mugged, but besides that, everything's peachy, thanks for asking. Now, will you settle down and explain this to me calmly, please."

"You won a trip to Fhloston Paradise for two for 10 days. I suppose you're going to leave me on the lunar surface to freeze my ass off?"

"If I'd won a trip, someone would have notified me." Just then, another piece of mail shots down the tube, and Jack turned to look at it.

"They've been blaring your name on the radio for the last hour!"

The doorbell buzzed, Jack looked towards it and saw General Monroe on the monitor. "Ma, I'll call you back." He walked over to the door and opened it. "General Monroe, how nice to see you in the 5,000 block," he said, making the coffee as General Monroe and his two companions walked in.

"Nice apartment, Major. Seems you settled into a wonderful life," General Monroe said. "Heard you lost your job."

"You heard that, huh?" Jack asked, suspiciously. "Well, don't worry. I'll get another job."

"Don't bother. We have one for you," General Monroe said as he opened the envelope in his hands. "Major Harkness, you have been selected for a mission of the utmost importance."

"What mission?" Jack asked.

"Save the world." General Monroe said. Jack laughed. "You'll leave immediately for Fhloston Paradise, retrieve four stones from the Diva, Rose, and bring them back with the utmost discretion. Questions?" General Monroe asked.

"Yeah just one: Why me? I retired six months ago, remember?"

"Three reasons. One: As a member of the elite special forces of the United Federated Army you're expert in the use of all weapons needed for this mission." General Monroe opened a roll of paper and it fell to the floor. "Two: Of all the members of your unit, you're the most highly decorated."

"And the third one?" Jack asked.

"Of all the members of your unit, you're the only one left alive. You check your messages?" Monroe asked.

"No, I've had enough good news for one day." Jack watched the other man carefully.

"Might be important!" Monroe hinted as he walked over to the mail slot and opened the mail.

"You're a winner." An electronic voice said, as the General popped open the message.

"You've won a contest, a trip to Fhloston paradise for two," Monroe said. Jack's hands gripped hold of the tube light that was along his shelf, his jaw and fingers tightened as he ripped it off. "Here, are your tickets."

"You rigged the contest?" Jack asked.

Monroe grinned. "Uh-huh. Congratulations." He turned and walked towards the two people who had come with him.

"Couldn't think of anything a little more discreet?" Jack asked.

"Old tricks are the best tricks. Major Iceborg will accompany you…as your wife." Monroe patted the shoulder of the large muscular woman.

She walked, forward clicking her heels and bowed.

Jack looked her up and down. "I am not going."

Monroe walks beside Major Iceborg and his eyes glanced at her body.

"Why not?"

TBC


End file.
